12 Tips to Have Hope When Life's Hard

I’d love to share with you twelve tips that help maintain our family’s hope in our hardest times, including the trials of childhood cancer and teen depression. I’m assuming you are a human reading this which means you have faced or are facing suffering, a trial, or a struggle. So, I pray that practicing these twelve tips will help restore hope to your suffering. (You can also get a copy of my 40-day devotional HERE that expands this topic on having hope when life’s hard.)

As our family journeyed through our childhood cancer battle (you can read the whole story HERE and HERE) and our struggles with teen depression, the Lord gave me supernatural peace and joy even amid our trials. People kept asking me, “How can you still have peace, hope, and joy when you’re suffering?”

So, I decided to jot down these top 12 tips to have hope when life’s hard. As I’ve mentored and counseled many Christians, I’ve found that many still believe they are hopeless in hard times. It’s my prayer and hope that these tips will help realign your eyes back to Jesus and his goodness and reconnect you with the true hope he offers. Because a Christian can never actually BE hopeless, even if you feel like you are. Hope himself lives inside of you!

The tips on this list have all been proven in my life and the lives of my family, friends, and mentees. I draw them from biblical principles and apply them daily to my life. They are in no particular order EXCEPT FOR THE FIRST ONE.

TOP 12 TIPS FOR HAVING HOPE WHEN LIFE’S HARD:

1.     Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior

I’ll repeat the big point that having hope when life’s hard is not possible without Jesus as your King, Friend, Savior, Provider, and Guide. The world offers many counterfeit options to Jesus’ hope but none of them compare to Jesus. Placing our hope in anything or anyone other than Jesus and God’s promises will always fail us at some point. Media, science, education, “experts”, Christian influencers, and many other sources will always let us down. But Jesus and his promises never will!

If you have professed Jesus as your Savior already, then I praise God for that!! Keep reading below for more tips.

If you HAVEN’T yet accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior but want to, then you can pray this to God right now: (Note about this prayer, there is nothing special about these particular words. It is the condition of your repentant heart that Jesus recognizes. The words printed are just a guide to help you recognize your need for Jesus and repent and accept his forgiveness.)

“God, I realize that you are the only source of salvation, hope, truth, peace, joy, and love. I also realize that I am a sinner and need Jesus to save me from eternal suffering apart from you. I repent for my life of sin and ask for Jesus’ forgiveness. I believe and thank you for sending Jesus to take my sins away and nail them to the cross so I don’t have to suffer for them. Thank you for loving me so much that you will forget my sin and clothe me with righteousness. I recognize that I need a Savior and can do nothing to save myself. Now I ask that you enter my heart and renew my mind to that of Jesus. Help me live in your right ways God. Amen.”

I am so excited for you if you prayed that prayer for the first time! You are now a child of God and have a future in eternity with Jesus!! You can contact me HERE to let me know if you prayed this prayer. And I suggest getting connected with a local church.

2.     Daily Quiet Time with the Lord

This daily practice of quiet time with God sets the stage for the entire day. I choose to schedule my quiet time with God first thing in the morning. If I start doing other things first, then my quiet time usually doesn’t happen.

God is always waiting for us to come to him and spend time in his presence, listening to his voice, and building our relationship. Our relationship with God is supposed to be the priority in our minds and hearts. Sadly, too often, Christians spend little or no time with God during the day.

How good of a marriage would you have if you only spent a few straggling, distracted minutes with your spouse every so often? Not so great! Why should we live our relationship with God like that?

Click HERE for a free printable PDF of my daily quiet time routine. You can use it as a basic idea if you have no clue where to start. But remember, there is no required regiment for quiet time with God. You can simply sit in a quiet place or go for a walk, but be intentional to focus on him. And it doesn’t need to be in the morning. I have just found that if I don’t do my quiet time with God in the morning, it may not happen at all.

I also communicate with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit throughout the day. It’s an hour-by-hour relationship. I love my set aside time with the Lord but also must stay connected all day.

3.     Surrender Control to God

How much in your life do you try to control? Do you try to control circumstances, outcomes, or other people? How is that working for you? Are you worried or stressed because of trying to control or feeling that you don’t have control over a situation or person?

Control is a fallacy because there is so little in our lives we can ACTUALLY control. Basically, all we can control is our mindset, or how we respond to what happens in our life. We can also control our words and actions to some extent. This lack of control over other people or much of what happens to us can be frustrating for a lot of people but I find it comforting.

The lack of ability to control circumstances, people, and outcomes means that someone else is in control. And that “someone” is the Creator of the entire universe, the Giver of life and all good things, the all-knowing, all-powerful King … God.

Why would I try to control a situation to get the outcome I want if God has a better plan? I have found endless peace and freedom in releasing control…its called SURRENDER. Surrender is really counterintuitive to how we as humans try to operate. We want to influence and control every aspect of our lives.

But God completely shifted this in me when our son was diagnosed with cancer that required brain surgery and chemotherapy. I could control NOTHING about the situation. I had to fully trust that God had it in his hands and had a plan for our son and family.

And oh, the freedom and peace that God gave me in that surrender!!! Nearly incomprehensible and unexplainable. All I can say is if you want peace in your struggles and trials, then surrender them to God! Seriously! Close your eyes, open your hands with palms up, imagine placing the issue in your hands, and literally lifting your hands up to God and asking him to take it.

Say, “God, I surrender this issue to you. I give you ________________________ and trust that you will control the outcome to fulfill your best plans for my life. Your will be done in this situation. Please honor my obedience and surrender and replace my worry with your peace. Thank you God for your love and provision. Amen”

4.     Smile and Laugh

This one is short and sweet. Proverbs 17:22 says “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” When we were in the hospital after our son’s first surgery, one of my friends gave me a simple but effective suggestion: “Watch funny cat videos”.

We did and it brought us so much laughter and joy, even in the hard challenges we were facing. Laughter is SO therapeutic. Even though we all go through hard times, we don’t need to be dry and dead during them. Turn on some funny animal videos and see how the laughter lifts your sadness. Pull up some jokes online and read them aloud to each other.

Another tip from a friend is called the Mona Lisa Smile. When needing a lifting of your spirits, simply tilt the very edges of your lips up the slightest bit in a tiny smile…not a huge fake smile. It really works! Jesus gives us everything we need to get through our trials and he designed our bodies to release feel-good hormones when we smile and laugh.

5.     Wait On and Trust the Lord

I recall an especially hard and sleepless night of waiting for me and my husband. Our son had brain surgery earlier in the day and his body was not recovering well. He had complications and we were waiting to see what was wrong and how it could be fixed. The nurses and doctors didn’t know what was wrong.

SO, WE WAITED.

• Waited for his body to work.

• Waited to see if anyone could figure it out.

• Waited for answered prayer.

Waiting can be SO hard.

A huge breakthrough eventually came for our son and his body started working a little better. Praise God! But the waiting never ended… and it never will. Waiting in hard times for hard answers is part of life. We eventually, usually get answers to end periods of waiting, but then another time of waiting comes. It’s hard to wait well.

But oh the peace to be had when you can wait well!! Only by God’s strength can we wait well for him to work.

God gave us peace in all our waiting. Waiting for tests, then waiting for results. Waiting for surgery then waiting for recovery. Waiting for answers to so many unknowns. Waiting for solutions. Waiting for healing.

The. List. Goes. On.

God gave me this scripture one morning when the enemy was trying to exhaust me in the waiting:

Isaiah 40:31

“Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.”

He did renew my strength in the waiting! To wait on the Lord is to trust him, to surrender control and the outcome to him, and to hope in his promises. To live in expectation that he will do what he says he will do.

The Bible has a lot to say about waiting for God. Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” There is no such thing as an instant gratification faith. The Bible is filled with stories of people waiting years…even decades and centuries for answers from God.

There is much growth and transformation that happens in the waiting when we wait well. I pray that God gives you the strength and direction to wait on him. The reward is great. The peace is tangible. The spiritual growth is abundant. And hope is restored.

6.     Take Your Thoughts Captive

Do you ever feel like there is a battle in your mind? Do you wrestle with negative thinking?

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I’m a failure.”

• “Nobody will love me.”

• “I’m fat.”

• “I wish I was more attractive.”

• “They have the perfect life.”

• “I’ll never get over my addiction.”

• “I should just quit trying.”

  
  

Do any of these look familiar?

2 Cor. 10:3-5 says, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Our battles in life are usually spiritual. That includes the battle of our thoughts.

We need to “take our thoughts captive” and make sure they line up with what Jesus says about us.

Jesus gives us thoughts that encourage, inspire, correct, direct, and express love.

The enemy gives us thoughts that discourage, defeat, tear down, anger, hurt, and destroy us. We need to hold all thoughts captive for a few seconds to test them against Philippians 4:8 and see if they are from God or the enemy. Once we accept a thought and allow it in our minds for good, it becomes part of our identity. Only accept and internalize the thoughts that come from Jesus not those from the enemy.

 7.     Connect with Family, Friends, and Community

As Christians we are made in the image of God, and God is a God of community. He is three in One which means he is always living in community. We too are created for community and companionship. Friendship is so important for our spiritual, physical, and mental health.

This may be a hard question…What/Who gets more of your face time, 1) a device OR 2) God and other people? I have struggled before with spending way too much time scrolling on social media. This can become a big struggle when I am going through a hard time in life and don’t feel motivated to do anything. That bad habit takes my eyes off my friends, family, God, and his purpose for my life.

We can’t be fully present with other people if we have a device in our hands or faces, or if we don’t make an effort to connect with them at all. Maybe your distraction from being present with others is a hobby, an addiction, too much TV, or something deeper like fear of rejection that makes you stay isolated. And maybe you are isolated because you are going through a really hard time and just don’t feel like being with people. But I can’t stress enough the importance of true connection with other people, and I don’t mean scrolling through people’s social media accounts.

We will never get our time back. So, I challenge you to be intentional with your time. Choose to be more present with people.

• Put the device down.

• Turn the TV off.

• Play a game with your loved ones.

• Reach out to a friend and have coffee.

The first step in being more present is the hardest because we need to break bad habits. No one gets to the end of their life and says, “I wish I spent less time with the people I love.” They say the opposite. You can make small changes with your time now that will have huge impacts on the hearts of those around you. Even a video call with a friend or family member will boost your joy and help restore a feeling of connectedness and hope.

8.     Get Outside

The Bible says we can know God by his creation. Being out in nature is my favorite place to commune with God. Fresh air, sunshine, birds chirping, a calm breeze, blue skies, puffy clouds, critters on the ground, beautiful flowers, crashing waves, the list never ends! Close your eyes and pay attention to what you feel, hear, and smell. Thank God for the good things in his creation and how they make you feel.

Being in nature releases feel-good hormones that boost our mood and emotions. I’m not saying you need to go do some big outdoor adventure…although I’m all for those! Even sitting outside for a cup of coffee can bring joy.

Go for a walk and praise God for a body that can move and eyes that can see his beauty. His goodness and love are all around us in nature. The fresh air and a little movement will only do good things for your body and mind.

9.     Be Thankful

I find that gratitude, being thankful, is one of the quickest ways to swap a negative mindset for a positive one. Even thanking God for the simplest things like clean running water, or food in my fridge helps me realign my focus back on Jesus and off of my crummy circumstances. And research has found that we can’t focus on both gratitude and worry at the same time. That’s amazing! That means if we are intentional to think grateful thoughts, our minds cannot be filled with worrisome thoughts.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Even in our absolute hardest of times, we can still think of something to be grateful for. Real quick, right now, think of five things you are thankful for and say them aloud. “God, thank you for

1. _______________________,

2. _______________________,

3. _______________________,

4. _______________________, and

5. ________________________.”

Now make a habit of thanking God for things throughout the day. A cozy bed, fresh air, AC or heating, a car that works, hugs from friends and family, eyes that see, ears that hear, a heart that beats, …. really anything!

10. Have a Biblical Perspective on Suffering

When we were in the thick of our son’s cancer diagnosis and surgery, a close friend said some profound words. She said, “I think God sees suffering and death differently than humans do.” I have to agree. He sees suffering, sickness, and death from a Heavenly perspective, high above the circumstances.

Since he knows all, including the outcome of the struggles and trials we face, he sits confidently knowing that everything will be OK. And if we have placed the tough circumstance in his hands through surrender, then he is in full control of what happens. 

He knows that life on earth is temporary. He knows that suffering makes us more Christlike. He knows that trials and challenges are part of the human existence. He knows that he has given us everything we need to not just survive our suffering but thrive in it. In other words, God knows everything will be alright.

It is us humans that get caught up in all the craziness of the situation. We get distracted and overwhelmed because we focus our eyes on the ground-level challenging circumstances and take our eyes off the higher perspective of God who is in control.

There is purpose in our pain. Our suffering:

• makes us stronger

• gives us a testimony to help others when they suffer

• makes us more like Jesus

• builds our faith so we can better face the next trial

• draws us closer to God

• strips away the weak and broken parts of us that hold us back

• transforms us from the inside out

So, instead of wallowing in self-pity or being weighed down by grief and suffering, step back from your struggle and look up to Heaven’s perspective. There is purpose in your suffering. You will come out of this trial stronger! And you are never alone in your suffering if you have Jesus as your Savior and Friend.

11. Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

I’m a mountain biker and know that where I fix my eyes while riding is where my bike goes. So, if I fix my eyes on the rocks and roots, I will hit the rocks and roots. Therefore, I’m intentional to fix my eyes on the dirt path between the rocks and roots so that my bike takes that path.

A similar experience happens in my spiritual and emotional life. When I fix my eyes on the hard circumstances and trials around me, I become sad, negative, and discouraged. But if I focus my eyes on Jesus in the storm, I feel peace, hope, joy, and perseverance.

“How do I fix my eyes on Jesus?” you may be asking. Through reading the Bible, listening to worship music, communion (sometimes daily if needed), and prayer time. These simple spiritual practices help our hearts and minds stay fixed on our Savior. When we drift from these practices or focus on the “rocks” in our path, we will hit them and crash every time.

12. Declare the Promises of God Regularly

Similar to tip #9 where we can’t focus on gratitude and worry at the same time, we also can’t speak negative words and God’s promises at the same time. If we are being intentional to speak aloud God’s promises to us then it silences the words of doubt, worry, fear, anger, jealousy, unbelief, and lies of the enemy.

The Bible contains over 7,000 promises from God to mankind! Many of those promises are incredibly encouraging to us in hard times. Like he hears our cries (Ps. 50:15), captures our tears (Ps. 56:8), he will deliver us from our trouble (Ps. 34:17-20), he will use our suffering for good (Rom. 8:28), and will never leave us or forsake us (Deut. 31:6-8). The list goes on and on. Each promise should bring us hope, joy, peace, and assurance that God has got us!

I have a free printable PDF you can get HERE that lists many of God’s promises. It has the lies the enemy tells us on the left side of the paper and the truth from God’s word to combat those lies on the right side of the paper.

I suggest going through the list and circling the top few that really strike you as personal struggles. Then write out the truth from God’s word along with the scriptures. Finally, make a habit of repeating them every day. The repetition of God’s promises will begin to renew your mind to the truths of God. You will begin to believe what God says about you and stop being discouraged by your circumstances or what the enemy says about you.

That’s a Wrap!

Well, that sums up the 12 tips for how to have hope when life’s hard. Remember, you can get my devotional HERE that will take you on a 40-day journey of restoring hope to your suffering. Jesus is always with us which means hope is always with us. We can never be hopeless. That is good news for which I’m so grateful!

(You can watch the full video teaching on this blog post HERE on my YouTube channel.)